09 January 2014

Grateful Thursday #11

Since it's the last day before hitting the quarter mark, I thought of looking back and dedicating this thankful post to the days I've lived through so far.

Hopefully I don't cry.


Without the chance of meeting and knowing each other despite living and growing up on different lands, there wouldn't be a girl (can I still call myself that?) typing here today. I was extremely rebellious during my teenage years. Glad to have them around, especially mum, to guide me with both soft and hard approach.


With the youngest cousin being nearly 12 years my senior, no doubt there will be doting and occasional bullying teasing on both brother and me. Being brought up in a family where favouritism is often shine on the male offspring (in this case, brother), I am pretty lucky to have the older male and female cousins to fill up that family love I ought to have. Of course, the showering of care and concern has gradually equal out as we step into adulthood. Though the big situation years ago had forced some lifestyles and habits to change a little, I still love each and every of them.


Brother and I used to bicker, argue, fight (yah, fight) a lot when we were much younger. I can't deny I hated him a little during that period due to favouritism and the fact that I get wallop together for a couple of times when he was obviously the fault one. Well, that's kids. Thank goodness, we grew past that and now we talked about all sorts of nonsense under the sun. Once, during a paternal cousin's wedding ceremony, another cousin commented about how close and talkative (in a good way) we are. That kind of compliment made me feel so proud and blessed.


If I am someone without friends, I'd probably be sinking full-time into anime, The Sims, movies, online platforms. I am truly grateful my friends in life, for those who still stick around when I am obviously not the best friend on Earth. My days would've been darker and quieter without those smiles and laughter.


I hold by this phrase - everything happens for a reason. There are mistakes, both sweet and bitter, that I wished I hadn't made that had hurt others and/or myself. Once in a while, I would pray for a rewind back to time so I can rewrite histories and not to do wrongs I've did. Obviously that didn't happen and probably never will. So I embrace them, by telling myself they appear in my story with a purpose, they help me grow even in the smallest way. I appreciate the experience, might even miss some bits and pieces once in a while. I am going to sound like a bitch for saying this, but, I thank the existence of those mistakes because they helped in one way or another to mould who I am today.


You were in and out of my life for a very short period of time, in which my days were at the lowest level of hell. Sorry for how things happened, but the outcome will be the same even if I have a chance to re-decide. Thank you for tinkering my maturity to another height.


In my kiddo days, I said things like "I will only date a Chinese" and "I will never date anyone who is younger than me". Well, The One Above definitely placed J in my life to eat back my own words. He has shower me with love, made me hop in anger, dance in joy with me, transformed into a pillar when I'm weak. I never thought I would say something like this, but, I don't know what to do without him.

And with these, I am ready to carry on marching down the path of life with all lessons learnt and the loved ones. ♥

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