15 February 2016

Barely Breathing

Gosh, this long hiatus felt terrible but totally unavoidable.

After being sick for almost a month, I am just glad to have found the source of problem and a temporary cure for that. All just in time to indulge slightly more during this Chinese New Year. Apparently my respiratory system decided to get weak and sensitive, making me the first in the family to have issue in this area. Nasal spray has been working well so far, kicking the persistent blocked nose and nasty coughing fit away.

Image via DeviantArt

Work was a little rocky at the start of the year, especially after taking over a couple of small duties from another colleague. That meant I had to remaster time management for a little bit more. Things got really interesting when I get my hands on with new things in my career path, stuffs like individual tax returns. Scary but enriching experience. When I thought I am beginning be sort of more confident in what I'm doing, I was informed that I will not be confirmed and my probation will be ending on last Friday. An hour before official working hour ends. It was the biggest bomb by far, another reason to make twenty-sixteen suck even more.

Being insufficient experienced for the position and the flaws I possess had been haunting me to second guess myself oh-so badly ever. Do I really suck that badly? Am I really unsuitable for this industry like they have suggested?

The closed ones around whom know the situation have been very encouraging with their words, which I am super thankful for. J has been making sure to be there for me too, supporting and assuring me. The comforting words did help fuel this hunt in the market, but it is still inevitable to feel vulnerable and insecure knowing how bad the current economy is.

That being said, pardon the silence a little longer as I pick up the pieces and start moving forward. Life has to go on nonetheless - part-time degree, wedding planning, social circles - and time stops for no one, so no point sitting around and dwell on negative point of view for too long right?


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